Friday Fictioneers–12 September 2014

I’ve been absent from Friday Fictioneers–for too long! Janet Webb’s photo (below) prompted me to write the following story.

Copyright–Janet Webb

I awoke, once again, in the wee hours and trudged to the bathroom. This time, there was no snoring, no raspy breaths. The darkness outside my window reflected my feelings. Salty streams flowed freely as sobs wracked my body. I lifted the soft chenille from the robe hook, buried my face to dry the tears, then wrapped it around my shoulders, trying to feel the warmth of the arms that once encircled and drew me near. I slipped to the other side of the bed, felt for a pulse, and dialed 911. Then I knelt by the bedside and waited.

To read more 100-word stories from this creative group, or link your own, see Friday Fictioneers.

41 thoughts on “Friday Fictioneers–12 September 2014

  1. I want to say she killed him because he snored endlessly, but I know that your story is deeper and truer to life than that. A sad tale that I’d rather experience from her side of the bed than his.




  2. I love the imagery of the robe and remembering his arms, but I was a bit confused about location. The first line suggests that she moves from the bedroom to the bathroom, but then suddenly, without you mentioning it, she’s back in the bedroom again…


    1. Thanks for your feedback, Claire. I thought, “I slipped to the other side of the bed” would give a vision of her return to the bedroom. Of course, in the writer’s eye, we see it differently.


  3. Those unforgettable, life-changing moments you described very well, Patti. On the brink of disaster hoping for a reprieve, the next few minutes meaning a lot… You took me to the edge of hope near the troubled cliff. You made me want to hear what happens next. Blessings to you…


  4. This threw me a bit of a curve. Until the last two sentences I felt this was the heart-breaking story of one person dying who was truly loved. But the last two sentences sounded clinical, almost as if she did kill him despite the fact she loved him. “I slipped to the other side of the bed, felt for a pulse, and dialed 911. Then I knelt by the bedside and waited.” For me, that threw it off a bit. Was there any intention to be ambiguous?


    1. No, his illness had lingered, and she knew it was coming, just not when. She gathered herself and did what she had to. Thanks for the question, Perry. It’s hard to convey what we see so clearly in our minds sometimes. At least, for me. Maybe I should lay a story aside and come back and read it later and see if it really says what I think it does.


  5. the wonderful way you began your story making it feel like such an effort to move around the room…slowly returning to the gentleness of the love that slipped away…the pain of loss so touchingly described.


  6. Dear Patti J, Wonderful story yet so very sad. Tender memories before the reinforcements arrive. I’m sure her senses are heightened right now and very emotional. My mother had to call an ambulance when my Dad died and she was really shaken up. This is a very true-to-life story!
    Nan 🙂


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